The loving-kindness meditation
The loving-kindness meditation is a practice that cultivates feelings of love, kindness, and goodwill towards yourself and others. It comes from Buddhism but can easily be used by practitioners from various spiritual and secular backgrounds.
What is the loving-kindness meditation?
It’s sometimes also called metta meditation. “Metta” means lovingkindness in the ancient Indian language of Pali. In loving-kindness meditation, you sit in a comfortable position and focus on generating feelings of love and compassion by repeating certain phrases or affirmations silently or aloud. You direct love towards yourself, loved ones, neutral people, difficult people, and eventually towards all beings.
The phrases may vary, but some commonly used examples are:
May I/you be happy.
May I/you be peaceful.
May I/you be safe.
May I/you live with ease.
What’s the purpose of loving-kindness meditation?
The purpose is to develop a compassionate and benevolent attitude towards yourself and others. It helps to cultivate empathy, reduce negative emotions such as anger and resentment, and promote a sense of connectedness and well-being. If you practice loving-kindness meditation regularly you'll develop a genuine wish for the happiness, peace, and well-being of all beings, including yourself
How to Practice loving-kindness meditation
Find a comfortable position
Sit in a comfortable posture, either cross-legged on a cushion or chair, or you can even practice lying down if that is more comfortable for you. Maintain an upright posture with a relaxed but alert state of mind. This is a nice meditation to do in public, at a coffee shop, or a bus stop while waiting for your bus.
Settle into awareness
Take a few moments to bring your attention to the present moment. Feel the sensations of your body, notice your breath, and allow yourself to relax.
Cultivating loving-kindness towards yourself
Repeat inwardly or aloud specific phrases that express kindness towards yourself, such as "May I be happy," "May I be peaceful," "May I be safe," or any other affirmations that resonate with you. Say these phrases with sincerity and intention, allowing the feelings of love and kindness to arise.
Extend kindness towards others
Start with someone you love, such as your dad or your best friend. Repeat phrases for them, like "May [person's name] be happy," "May [person's name] be peaceful," etc. Allow your feelings of love and goodwill to grow as you direct your attention towards a loved one.
Include neutral people, difficult people, and all beings
Focus on one or two people you know but don't have strong feelings about. Then, bring to mind people you have conflicts or challenges with, and extend loving-kindness towards them as well. Finally, broaden your scope to include all beings, without exception, extending your well-wishes to everyone, everywhere.
Some tips on Buddhist mindfulness
A steady rhythm
As you continue the practice, maintain a steady rhythm of silently or aloud repeating the phrases and directing loving-kindness towards yourself and others. If distracting thoughts arise, simply acknowledge them and return to the phrases and intentions of goodwill.
Duration
Most people start with about 5 or 10 minutes and then gradually increase the duration until they find a length of time they are comfortable with.
Don’t force it
Remember, loving-kindness meditation is not about forcing specific emotions but rather cultivating a sincere intention of kindness and goodwill. The phrases used can be adapted to resonate with your own beliefs and values. Feel free to modify the practice to suit your needs and preferences.
Regular practice
The loving-kindness meditation is most effective when done regularly. The schedule, of course, depends on you. At most every day and at least once a week. For the best results connect it to a regular activity - sitting on the bus, before taking a shower, or after waking up in the morning.
I’m Dr. Rodger Douglas, DMH, a South African-born homeopath now based in Osaka, Japan. With a psychology degree from Nelson Mandela University and a diploma from the Hahnemann College of Heilkunst, I specialize in holistic care for fibromyalgia. I serve clients by phone or video across the US, Canada, and the UK.